trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Randomize
