we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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