toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
