I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I would fuck him just for his dog
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
