do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i think im in europe. pls send help
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
