Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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