just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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