it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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