I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
