Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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