im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
handjob tips. give me some.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
