Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
