from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
