Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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