Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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