very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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