How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
