the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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