so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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