remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
