I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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