We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
