I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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