look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize