And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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