its not stalking. its research.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
