one might say we're banned from that church
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
