Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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