My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
