That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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