what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
