Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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