who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
