Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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