I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Send help, water and tortillas.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
