I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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