on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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