I just cut my nipple shaving
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You ruined the universe
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
