I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
