ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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