the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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