when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
