And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
