this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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