Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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