Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
