Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
