I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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