I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize