just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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