I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
