I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
