Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
