Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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