I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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