i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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