no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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