cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
