Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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