My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
