TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
