I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
