You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
