porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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