Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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