i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
