So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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