everyone is single if you try hard enough
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Found your dick twin last night
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize