I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
