If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize