Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
