And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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