Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize