around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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