who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Randomize
