yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
