I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize